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Author Topic: Riddles!  (Read 2232 times)
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ISAB

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« on: Feb 26, 2017, 07:18AM »

Here, you can post any riddles you would like.
If you don't have a riddle, you can try to answer one.
I'll start:
Which is heavier? A pound of feathers or a pound of lead.
Have Fun! :)
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« Reply #1 on: Feb 26, 2017, 08:10AM »

Neither.

What's so fragile, that even uttering it's name breaks it?
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« Reply #2 on: Feb 26, 2017, 10:25AM »

SILENCE!


What has two heads, four legs and one ball?
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« Reply #3 on: Feb 26, 2017, 11:52AM »

Tennis match!

How can you tell when your band's stage is level?
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« Reply #4 on: Feb 26, 2017, 12:18PM »

The banjo player drools out of both sides of his mouth :-P

(You can substitute drummer, bass player, or lead alto.)

How is a viola recital like a long drawn out trial?
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« Reply #5 on: Feb 27, 2017, 07:29AM »

A fisherman is going fishing on a lake. His boat flips over and he sinks to the bottom, yet not a hair on his head gets wet. How?
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« Reply #6 on: Feb 27, 2017, 07:31AM »

He's bald.

Answer to my riddle: There's great relief when the case is closed.
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« Reply #7 on: Feb 27, 2017, 08:00AM »

The butcher is seven feet tall and has a shoe size of 13. What does he weigh?
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« Reply #8 on: Feb 27, 2017, 08:28AM »

The butcher is seven feet tall and has a shoe size of 13. What does he weigh?

Meat.

What's the difference between the Pope and your boss?
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« Reply #9 on: Feb 27, 2017, 08:37AM »

What's the difference between the Pope and your boss?

The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

Billy's mom had four children, the first one was April, the second one was May, the third one was June. What was the name of the fourth?
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« Reply #10 on: Feb 27, 2017, 08:56AM »

The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

Billy's mom had four children, the first one was April, the second one was May, the third one was June. What was the name of the fourth?

The fourth is Billy of course!

Whats the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead conductor in the road?
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« Reply #11 on: Feb 27, 2017, 09:56AM »

1.  Skid marks in front of the snake.
2.  The snake was on his way to a gig.

What's the difference between a violin and a viola?
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« Reply #12 on: Feb 27, 2017, 10:37AM »

The violin player is killed, while the viola just dies of embarrassment.
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« Reply #13 on: Feb 27, 2017, 11:01AM »

The violin player is killed, while the viola just dies of embarrassment.

Actually, I was going for "the viola burns longer".

How many trumpet players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
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« Reply #14 on: Feb 27, 2017, 11:06AM »

Actually, I was going for "the viola burns longer".

How many trumpet players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

one to do it, an 20 to say they can do it better lol


How do you make a trombone sound like a french horn?
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« Reply #15 on: Feb 27, 2017, 11:10AM »

Stick your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

How do you make a French Horn sound like a Trombone?
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« Reply #16 on: Feb 27, 2017, 12:04PM »

Take your hand out of the bell and lose all sense of taste.

What do you say to a trombone player in a suit?
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« Reply #17 on: Feb 27, 2017, 12:38PM »

May the defendant please rise.

What do the letters pp mean to a trombone player?
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« Reply #18 on: Feb 27, 2017, 12:54PM »

Pure Power.

What do you call a waterfowl that sneaks around peering in apartment windows?
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« Reply #19 on: Feb 27, 2017, 02:14PM »

I don't know... seegull?
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« Reply #20 on: Feb 27, 2017, 04:35PM »

A Peking duck.   Evil

What do you call fake noodles?
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« Reply #21 on: Feb 27, 2017, 05:15PM »

IMPASTA! :D :D :D
I knew that off the top of my head

Poor people have it, rich people need it, if you eat it you will die. What is it?
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« Reply #22 on: Feb 28, 2017, 07:57AM »

Anybody know the answer?

Here's another one:
Why do people play trombone?
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« Reply #23 on: Feb 28, 2017, 11:29AM »

Anybody know the answer?

I got nothing.  Pant

Quote
Why do people play trombone?

Because they're not coordinated enough to play accordian.  Evil

What's brown, has two eyes, and looks like a stick?
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« Reply #24 on: Feb 28, 2017, 12:42PM »

What's brown, has two eyes, and looks like a stick?

I'm truly confuzzled  Confused Confused Confused Confused Confused
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« Reply #25 on: Feb 28, 2017, 12:50PM »

ISAB - Nothing

fsung - Confuzzled is all I got as well.
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« Reply #26 on: Mar 01, 2017, 07:13AM »

Ok fsung,
I give up
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« Reply #27 on: Mar 01, 2017, 07:17AM »

Here are a few more...

How far can a dog run into the forest?

What do you call a bear without an ear?

What has 13 hearts but no other organs?

How many seconds are in a year?
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« Reply #28 on: Mar 01, 2017, 07:59AM »

Half way
B
Deck of cards
Twelve

What's brown, has two eyes, and looks like a stick?

A stick. I lied about the eyes.  Evil

What's brown, two legs, and looks like a stick?
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« Reply #29 on: Mar 02, 2017, 07:36AM »

How many conductors dose it take to screw in a lightbulb?
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« Reply #30 on: Mar 02, 2017, 08:47AM »

How many conductors dose it take to screw in a lightbulb?


One, but he holds it up and the world revolves around him.  You can substitute Diva for the conductor.
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« Reply #31 on: Mar 02, 2017, 03:43PM »

What do you call a cow with no legs?
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« Reply #32 on: Mar 02, 2017, 04:06PM »

How many conductors dose it take to screw in a lightbulb?


Nobody knows, because no one ever watches the conductor!

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« Reply #33 on: Mar 02, 2017, 04:11PM »

What do you call a cow with no legs?

ground beef

What do you call a legless dog?
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« Reply #34 on: Mar 02, 2017, 05:13PM »

What do clarenets use for birth control
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« Reply #35 on: Mar 02, 2017, 07:08PM »

What do clarinetists use for birth control

[note change]

Their personalities.
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« Reply #36 on: Mar 02, 2017, 08:19PM »

ground beef

What do you call a legless dog?

Doesn't matter, he never comes when you call.

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« Reply #37 on: Aug 09, 2017, 07:23PM »

Quote
Poor people have it, rich people need it, if you eat it you will die. What is it?

Nothing

What 4-letter word can be written forward, backward or upside down, and can still be read from left to right?
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« Reply #38 on: Aug 12, 2017, 09:59AM »

poop
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« Reply #39 on: Aug 13, 2017, 11:57AM »

What gets wetter as it dries?
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« Reply #40 on: Aug 13, 2017, 03:07PM »

A towel.
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« Reply #41 on: Aug 17, 2017, 07:47AM »

poop

Wrong.  It's NOON.

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« Reply #42 on: Aug 17, 2017, 08:53AM »

Wrong.  It's NOON.


Doesn't poop work too?  You never said it had to read the same each way, only that it could be read.  Oh well.

What goes up and never comes down?
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Never look at the conductor. You just encourage them.

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« Reply #43 on: Aug 26, 2017, 02:19PM »

Your age.

I turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champane bubble.
If you sqeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.
Can you guess the riddle?
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« Reply #44 on: Aug 27, 2017, 08:57PM »


Can you guess the riddle?

Nope


A murderer is condemned to death; he has to choose between three rooms: the first is full of raging fires; the second, assassins with loaded guns; and the third, lions who haven't eaten in years.

Which room should he choose?
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« Reply #45 on: Aug 28, 2017, 06:10PM »

Room #3.  If the lions hadn't eaten in years, they would all be dead.

Still wanna know the answer to the "I turn polar bears white" riddle.
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« Reply #46 on: Aug 29, 2017, 04:30PM »

Room #3.  If the lions hadn't eaten in years, they would all be dead.

Correct


Still wanna know the answer to the "I turn polar bears white" riddle.
Nope

1. ^See here.
2. Re-read the riddle.
3. Understand.  ;-)
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